Unexplainable remembering

We have a big 4 day conference coming up, starting tomorrow, and the fellow who’s coordinating it works next to me. He’s been working late every night for quite a while. I know his pain. When I was in the Navy, I had to plan a big conference 2 years in a row. Late nights, no acknowledgement, no thanks.

The first year, I had my foot in a cast. Fortunately, it was a walking cast (crutches are evil things!), but it was still a pain, both literally & figuratively. The second year, my mom was in the final stages of her terminal illness. In fact, the idiot senior officer gave me duty the Saturday after the conference (and I worked closely with him). And that Saturday, my mom took a turn for the worse. Everyone tried to get ahold of me, but I wasn’t at home, and I wasn’t at my desk at work. When I got home Sunday morning, there were several messages on my answering machine. They had taken her to the hospital and she wasn’t very coherent. I made my plane reservations for Monday, but Sunday night my dad called to say she had passed away.

As I was thinking about that, a sudden wave of intense sadness came over me.  This was the 2nd time in as many weeks.  Even tho she’s been gone for 20 years, I’ve recently been longing for her company.  I’m not sure why I’m having these feelings again.  She died in December, not in April.  Her birthday is in February, so that’s not the trigger.  I have no answers.  I guess it’s just best to remember what a remarkable and wonderful woman she was.

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