Me first! Me first!

What is it about urban drivers that make it necessary to be ahead of the car in front of them? Are they in a hurry? Is the world going to end if they don’t get to their destination as soon as possible?  Are they so important that the laws of the road and common courtesy don’t apply to them?

Yesterday as I was driving home (and I don’t have a very long commute, DC-wise), I witnessed three instances of such behavior. First, a Cooper and a minivan jockeyed for position as the road narrowed from two lanes to one. Both cars sped up to get in front of the other. The minivan won, probably aided by the laws of gross tonnage. And what for? They ended up sitting at the same stop lights as me.

Ok, I’ll give them this:  at said stop light, they were in a position move in front of the intersection.  I take that back. The Cooper pulled ahead as another car (coming from the opposite direction) was trying to make a left turn. The left turner ended up having to do some auto gymnastics to make the turn (the driver was obviously irritated).

I stayed behind the side road, in case another car wanted to make a left turn. And what happened? A small SUV drove up in the left-turn lane and pulled in front of me. Nice. Apparently the laws of courtesy don’t apply to people whose shit doesn’t stink.

This is not the first time this has happened to me. I was sitting at a green light because the road ahead was full, and I didn’t want to fuck up traffic by pulling into the intersection.  But the guy behind me was apparently immune to such courteous thoughts, so he pulled ahead of me. Because, you know, he’s much more important than me. I was pissed! I followed him closely down the road. I really wanted to rear-end the asshole, but I would have been at fault insurance-wise, so I didn’t. But when he turned off the road, I sped up & blew my horn at him. He gave me the finger. Because, you know, he was perfectly right to illegally pull in front of other cars and selfishly create traffic snarls. And of course, I’m sure his shit didn’t stink.

This time, however, I just let Mr. Asshole go on his merry way. Oh wait. He didn’t go on his merry way.  He ended up sitting at the same stop lights as me and got to his turn-off one second before me. Yeah, he’s a big, important person who doesn’t need to be concerned for others. Oh, and his shit doesn’t stink either.

Lastly, when the road opened up from one lane to three, the car behind me sped up to roar past me on the left. And you know what? I made it through the same 2 stoplights he did. I’ll give you this, though; he reached his turn off two seconds before me.

You know what?  Life is so much more enjoyable when you just let it go & leave the assholes to revel in their own fabulousness.   Because, you know, they are fabulous.  And their shit doesn’t stink.


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